Relationships; they tend to have a shelf life that determines the level of hurt you feel when it’s over. I’ve been the one dumped, the one doing the dumping and also have been one half of a relationship that just dwindles on its own and dies a slow and quiet death…ending with more of a whisper than a bang… a simple acknowledgment between the two of you that it’s course has been run.
I have been in a relationship that has been going through a transition for almost a year now and the insight I have gained is invaluable. A friend told me about 6 months ago that I have gone through the classic “long-term” break-up; essentially, breaking up and reconciling enough times that when it does finally, really finally, end… it feels ok. That it might still hurt but you know that it’s the right decision. I can’t say I agree with that entirely because the fact is that almost a year into “broken up”, “back together”, REALLY broken up”, “not together but kind of together”, “definitely NOT together” …it’s exhausting and draining… the emotional turmoil of wanting them and not wanting them at the same time. The hurt of knowing that you love them and have wanted, so much, for it to work…and knowing that it never can. Finally recognizing that truth and realizing that the ache inside to see that person and have them near is fading. Feeling that the sting inside when you see them with someone else isn’t as sharp…that’s when you know that it’s simply ending as it should. Being able to look back on the amazing times – the connection, the experiences and the moments that meant so much…Being able to look back on the hurt and the pain and the moments that broke my heart. Knowing it’s over finally….Finally. Friends now with memories of what was and that’s all. And feeling good and right about that. Finally.