The Fairy-tale, deconstructed

So here’s how the hetero-normative fairy-tale is delivered to us as we grow up:

Girl grows up; girl has doubts about her beauty and therefore, her value and worth…whether anyone will ever love her; Girl meets boy; Boy and girl fall deeply in love; birds sing the praises of their enduring love, stars sparkle more brightly, flowers bloom brighter and all previous issues are swept aside, never to worry either of them again; Girl now has Boy who will protect her and cherish her and life will go on happily ever after.

So we are conditioned to believe that all we need to be ok is a mate. A singular, all-encompassing mate who will fulfill all of our needs and wants. A partner who will love us unconditionally and forever – and who we will love likewise.

Now the screeching sound as those visions hit reality…

Is it any wonder that we have a society of young people (don’t worry, us more mature persons are just as messed up) who struggle with feelings of self-doubt and a sense of lack of fitting-in?

What if you’re a girl who likes other girls “in that way”, or a boy who like other boys “in that way”… or what if you like them all and can’t chose, and don’t want to have to make choice for just one option.

What if your body has packaging of one gender and your mind has the wiring of a different one? Or if your mind feels neutral, regardless of what body it dwells in? Gender neutral or asexual… you still need and want love and companionship and connection but not “in that way”.

Or what happens if you are a girl or a boy who wants the fairy-tale? Are you “less” than others who push against it? You find yourself accused of setting back the “cause” and you are held to ridicule for buying into the brain-washing. But what if it IS what you truly want? Then have it.

The possibilities of how our minds and bodies are connected and wired and respond is almost limitless so how do we fit in to a societal structure that is constructed on such a narrow base of “norms” and expectations?

My feelings are that we all don’t fit no matter what. There will always be someone to judge and someone to ridicule or hate or dispute your right to be who and what you are and to live your life and loves your loves with who and how you want.

So live and love how it makes you feel true to you. Respect yourself first and foremost; don’t sacrifice your own beliefs, morals or ethics for anyone else. And remember, you get what you put out there.

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