A matter of choice

We all have choices. That’s the simplicity of it. The ease and the difficulty. In a lot of ways, it would be easier if we didn’t have choices; if it wasn’t actually up to us. We wouldn’t have to take responsibility for our actions in our lives. We could always fall back on the surety that someone or something was the one to blame for where we were in life, for what happened to us or for how we felt. For a lot of people, they live like that; like they don’t have a choice… like some external force beyond their control is running the show for them.


It’s easier to be the victim of someone or something else. Some elusive “other” who has just decried what and how your life will be. Yet the irony is that it’s a choice to believe that. To make the choice to embrace that declaration of helplessness and lack of control.It creates a situation that places a person at the point of being able to blame someone, anyone, other than themselves , for their life… For their happiness or lack of it… For their pain and hurt… For them being unable to change. Because if it’s not up to them, then they just simply can’t help but be how they are. It’s easier to remain somewhere you don’t want to be than it is to change. So we create stories and reasons for the “why”… I would do this or that but… I was raised this way so I can’t be different. I was told this so I can’t believe otherwise. I’ll fail, so I won’t try.


The sadness is that the people who appear to refuse to make their own choices, have in fact, made the most profound choice. The choice to relinquish independent control. The choice to place their path in the hands of everything but themselves. Because to accept that it’s in their control, they then have to accept that they are responsible for their unhappiness. And for so many, it’s easier to blame and just keep going. At least then, it’s not their fault. At least then, there’s always a reason – outside of their own personal responsibility – for where and how they are in their life.


We can, truly, choose to be happy or unhappy. To create and bring to fruition what we want, or not. To change, or not. It has been said a million times and it’s one of the most basic truths… the only thing stopping you, is you.


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