Taking one of those silly internet quizzes today and the questions came up “My friends would describe me as…” with a list of the usual options.
Now this is a bit of a trick question because it rides the edge of us picking what we think our friends think of us *or* we pick how we see ourselves under the guise of what we would want our friends to say.
This used to be a pretty simple thing for me to pick. I knew who and how and what I was and I was pretty much “what you see is what you get” and transparent to everyone so I knew what my friends would say *and* that matched how I saw myself. A no brainer really. Not now.
Now, I saw that question today in a silly online quiz and I got stuck. Stuck because of a couple of things. First and foremost came the voice in my head that stated that I have no friends that pop to mind that know me well enough to be able to answer that question. Not to mention the larger issue that I don’t even know the answer to it anymore. What qualities would my friends say most accurately describe me? What or who am I? I read over the list… loyal? great sense of humour? adventurous? caring and loving? daredevil? generous? What would “they” pick, what would I pick to describe myself?
All of the above, none of the above, things not mentioned? What’s more upsetting to me… that I don’t know me anymore or that I have so isolated and withdrawn myself that I don’t think anyone else does either? That’s the hardest question that came up from that silly little internet time waster.
And by the way, I’m most like a Pit Bull, just in case you were wondering… not too far off the mark probably.
Great blog. I can really relate with the not knowing myself and isolating myself from everyone. The hard part is getting to a stage where i can let people in again. But i think we all get there in time. I think maybe that may help us find ourselves or our place in the world. Heres hoping anyway