I am much more of a Winter Solstice person than I am a New Years Eve person when it comes to what feels like it clicks for me. I love New Years Eve for what it is; like Christmas, a chance to celebrate and enjoy a slower work schedule for a few days and time to spend with people I enjoy hanging out with. The concept of resolutions that simply get recycled every year on December 31st seems incomplete somehow.


Oh but the Winter Solstice is where it’s at for me. A time of renewal and rebirth, the turning of the season, the return of the sun. A time of clarity and setting intentions to move into the next cycle of seasons. I don’t mean it’s time for a list of promises to myself or others about what I want to accomplish in the next 12 months, but rather a time to reflect on what my values and visions are and how my life, lived so far, matches up with those. A time to check in with my values and visions and see if or how they have evolved.


Life is fluid, it evolves and with it, so does our path from time to time. Taking a look at what is important to me and whether my actions show that or not is integral to being well – mentally, emotionally and physically. I’ve been shown this past year – in a huge and nasty way – that when you neglect your Self and your course, it hurts. It’s a lesson that I’m seeing was needed. Got it, universe, thanks (could there not have been an easier way to show me the same things ?!)

Last year,  I did what I often do. I wrote myself a letter, dated to be opened at the next Winter Solstice. It wasn’t a list of “by this time next year….” it was a look at what was important to me – then – and what direction I intended to take to bring me closer to my dreams and visions of life for me. It was vague and that is what I aim for. Oddly enough, for all of my perfectionist, itemized, list-making tendencies that I possess, setting intentions has always been about the big picture rather than the micro view of details.


Now, a cycle of the seasons has come and gone and I read that letter and see much that is true. What makes me tick is still there and still waiting patiently for my actions to match my internal “really this is a priority” sense. What I hope to achieve is still on the mark – all good there. Yet, when I take an honest and raw look, I have to say that this past year has been drifting rather than paddling in my life. Granted the last 6 months have been holding on for dear life rather than being swept away, but still….


My last post hit the proverbial nail on the head and as I sat down to dive into actually naming what I want and what dreams I have – if nothing was impossible, what would you want to do? – it quickly became clear that two lists were evolving for me.


One was definitely a list that slapped me hard with a feeling of why in the world I wasn’t making these things happen??? They are absolutely achievable! Things like: be less afraid; be more self-confident; paddle boarding, taking a cooking class, trying my hand at pottery, publishing a piece of writing, finishing that novel. These things were not “I want to visit Mars” type of dreams, they are all attainable. I just need to get off my ass and make them happen. Point taken, universe.


The other list was no less attainable, technically… but the visions on that list are not the “bang that off with a bit of effort” type of items. Things like: grow old with friends who are family to me in my life; buy a piece of land and build on while I live in a trailer (preferable with a bunch of those Framily people 🙂 ) ; own a dog; hike the West Coast Trail; travel to Greece; . These are things that require some foundation time and planning to bring to fruition. That list shows me the big picture of what is important to me. Freedom, adventure, connection, love.


Resolutions? Nope.

Intentions to live so that I am moving in the direction that I want and need to be? Absofuckinglutely.


to be continued….


It’s time for the obligatory “reflectingonthepastyearandmakingplansisweari’llkeepfornextyear” blog post…. :). In true “me” fashion, this will be a bit rambling and not all done in one shot, enjoy!

In late 2016 I decided I would embark on a “year of yes” .

As 2017 wraps up, it has been just over a year of consciously being open to new experiences and opportunities that came my way. A year of pausing before replying with the almost automatic “no” and replacing it with a “yes”, most of the time. It was good. I got out of my comfort zone more than a few times and stepped into my fears – and got through them.

It has been so good in fact that when the year was done, I made the choice to keep the sentiment going and really embrace this concept of saying yes. So there I was, patting myself on the back for having done such a good job of being so open and willing to say yes. Good job Lola.

So why then, do I feel like something still isn’t quite right?

Then it hits me.

Well, it doesn’t so much as hit me as it slowly sinks in as I sit reading a book about bucket lists. A book about 4 young men (from my home town even!) who sat down and made lists – and started making it happen (still are actually.. check them out here )

Being open and saying yes is all good, but it’s still passive. I may have been actively saying yes, but it’s actually being REactive. It’s passive.So while it was a great place for me to start – it’s not where I need or want to be.

It’s not enough to say yes to what comes my way…that’s only half the glass, so to speak. I need to find out and pursue – make happen even– those things that I want. Waiting for something to drop in my lap is a wonderful way to still have nearly zero responsibility for my own happiness.

Did I accomplish and experience some amazing things this past year that I would have not done had it not been my “year of yes”? Absolutely!

Am I reflecting over the past year and thinking of the things that I wanted to experience that I didn’t? Absolutely.

Why didn’t I experience them? Because I didn’t make it happen… because I didn’t speak up and get off my ass and create the opportunity.

Something that I wanted or needed didn’t come to me and I when I should have gone and went to IT, I didn’t.

And that’s not good enough.

So 2018 will be a year lived differently. Proactive and in pursuit of those things that I want – and need – for my happiness. With a healthy dose of unrealistic dreaming, just for fun. After all, what good is stretching outside of your boundaries if it’s not at least a bit challenging 😉

to be continued….