Love List

We spend so much time in life thinking about stressors
and things that suck in our lives. 
I decided today to make a list of things that make me happy. 

Coming out of a summer where I lost a long term romantic relationship AND a job, 
I have felt lost and ungrounded. 
So many of the things that made me happy are no longer in my life, 
I have struggled to see or know what does bring me joy 
(not the Marie Kondo type…although you should see my underwear drawer now!) 

A funny thing happened though.
As I sat down to try to think of 10 things to list 
(which I thought was going to be hard), 
I got going and realized that there are way more than 10 things. 
It helped me to rediscover those things that I had become distanced from, 
things that I had pushed away from acknowledging
because it hurts to think about them without crying
(see #’s 5,16 & 19), 
things that I worry might be gone forever and to voice 
that I want them because they make me 
happy means I might be UNhappy without them.
Doing this also showed me that I have hit a point of 
being unapologetic for what I love.

Things I love and want do not mean I am needy,
they mean I know what makes me happy - and that’s a good thing. 

Things I love that are cheesy and stupid 
(see #’s 2(d), 4, 17 & 21) I will proclaim without shame ;). 

So my Top Ten list will be as long as it needs to be, 
and ever to be added to. It’s my list 🙂

What puts a smile on your face?

                          Top Ten(ish) Things That Make Me Happy
(in no particular order of importance but yes, coffee is number 1)

1. Hot coffee in the morning. Preferably with a cigarette and outside.
2. Travel.
a. waking up someplace that is not home. 
b. getting lost walking around a city that you don’t know
c. airports (yes, I do love them now) - the anticipation of where you are headed lives in them.
d. shot glasses with cheesy touristy pictures on them (yes, I collect them)
3. Roadtrips.
a. loud music in the car a thousand miles from home.
b. roadside rest stops; that feeling when you get out of the car and finally stretch your legs.
c. changing routes on a whim because you want to try a new direction for a while.
4. Stupid B movies that I have watched a dozen times.
a. Planet of The Apes
b. Anything Star Wars (original three) related.
c. Bad 50’s black and white cult classics.
d. Zombie/Post Apocalypse movies.
5. Love. All kinds.
6. Graffiti.
7. Decrepit and abandoned buildings and things.
8. A clean kitchen.
9. The smell outside when it rains.
10. Bike rides at sunrise. The silence is perfect.
11. Camping.
a. conversations about nothing for hours around the campfire.
b that feeling when your sleeping bag finally feels warm after you slip into it.
c. swimming in a lake so cold that you can’t feel your feet when you get out.
12. That feeling when you are lost in a good book.
13. Loud music while cleaning the house.
14. Dancing alone in my apartment.
15. That feeling when you are done your run.
16. The scent of the person I am in love with.
17. Ridiculously time wasting Youtube videos
a. special nod to the “Irish People try…” series
18. Scary movies (even though I am a wimp at watching them and will swear that I hate them).
19. Falling asleep in the arms of my partner.
20. Breakfast. Hot breakfast. On the weekend. 
21. Troll dolls.
22. Hikes with my kidlets and realizing they have, 
       in fact inherited my sarcasm and dry wit genes.
23. Cheese. All. Cheese.
24. Butches. Everything about them.
25. The ocean waves. Quiet or harsh, they cleanse and whisper of power.
26. Words.
27. The feel of a freshly shaved head.
28. Boots. 
29. Leather.
a. the smell
b. the feel
30. Femmes. Everything about them.
31. Dogs.
32. Spreadsheets.
33. Kayaking and paddleboarding. 
34. Beer with labels that make me laugh.
35. Boobs (yes, you read that right, it’s not a repeat of #28). 
a. Side boob. Trust me, it needs its own entry.
36. Sea glass.
37. A pen that writes exactly how you want it to.
38. Moonlight.
39. Sex.
40. Apple crisp.
41. A hot bath with my laptop on the towel chest so I can watch a movie while I soak.
42. Making dinner for friends and spending the evening laughing.
43. Frozen yogurt with gummy worms at the movie theatre.