Step Class Top 10

I recently went to a step aerobics class after not having done one in almost two years. To say that I am sore would be a gross misuse of that word. While I had a great time and will definitely be starting that up again, I can’t pretend that my mind and body were far from united in their bliss during the class.

Now, I love a good top ten list, and my head works in lists and they make me happy.

Cases in point to reflect on:

Mudd Sweat and Tears aka WTF made me think this was going to be fun?!

By the Seat of My Pants aka Lesson from Lucy

Nope, not going to run aka the messed up mind of a runner

So, to round out the experience (and to help me stick on the “yes it WAS a fun time and I WILL go back train of thought….) a top ten list of my mental entertainment during the ordeal:

  1. Stretching is like the dessert of exercise classes so why are we not doing it more and for longer??? Yes I love cardio and strength training but let me be perfectly honest when I say I am blissed out when it is time to lay my sweaty self on the mat and not move. At. All. Ahhhhhh
  2. As much as things change, they stay the same. I have been teaching fitness classes since, literally (and yes I am using that word correctly), Step Aerobics was invented so I know what I’m talking about. There is comfort is familiarity. My L step is your L step. Happy.
  3. I still don’t follow well. I try, I really do but I have taught for so long and been the leader for so long that it’s just too hard to break that. I mix up left and right and have a tendency to let my mind wander and when it comes back, I am not where everyone else is (physically sometimes – ooops, Zumba is hell with the non-verbal cueing for me). I am polite enough to stand in the back because I know my failings here. I promise I won’t crash into anyone, that’s the best I can offer.
  4. Loud music with a beat makes me move. No matter how bad of a mood I’m in or how tired I thought I was. The louder the better. If you dare to complain that the music is too loud in the class, expect me to comment that earplugs are a great option. Do not mess with the one place I don’t have to worry about noise complaints from my neighbours. I will growl at you and your sensitive ears.
  5. Along those lines… you can take any song, no matter how retro or how current, adda  32 count beat and voila, they all sound oddly the same. Comforting yet disconcerting all at the same time.
  6. I still sweat 40 seconds into a class. I do not, and never will, be one of those people who “glows with perspiration”. Nope, I sweat. A lot. Like a lot a lot. And I love it. A lot.
  7. I still smile and encourage the people who will never hear the beat. You are doing it and loving it and I applaud that. Now go in the corner where you aren’t a distraction, thank you.
  8. My germ phobia issues are no better in a group setting than in the quiet weight room. Nope… oh goodness how many hands have been on these weights?!
  9. Gliders are the demon spawn of frisbees and as such, should be thrown hard and far. If you don’t know the wonders of these little tidbits of hell, youtube it. You’re welcome.
  10. Why are we still doing exercises like reverse crunches?! Didn’t we, in our secret fitness guru meetings way back in the 2000’s decide to outlaw these exercises that no one does correctly anyways!!! Sigh, that’s ok, I am more than happy to boycott them and enjoy an extra 5 minutes of stretching/napping on my mat while everyone else jerks their hips up in what appears to be intestinal seizures. Just please be quiet , I’m napping.