memories

i walk along the beach this morning, 

and the scent of the low tide 

brings memories flooding over me.

in a flash, i am 8 years old again.

head down, elbows deep in a tidal pool,

lost in focus and wonder.

i remember her all those years ago.

i sit and close my eyes and i can see her clearly.

i see her at the beach, out on the logs, once the tidal pools have lost her interest.

any concept of time is forgotten as she jumps from log to log,

no thought given to the incoming tide.

i see her as she looks up finally as she wonders why the logs are floating now,

her last jump causing her to rock with the log as she landed.

i see the brief look of shock as she realizes that hours must have passed,

the tide is now in,

bringing with it an expanse of water between her and the shore.

i see how, just as quickly as it came, the look of shock is gone,

replaced with a determined glance of calculated judgment and immediate action.

i see her hold her nose, close her eyes and jump into the water.

hesitation not even a whisper in her mind.

complete trust in her ability fills her and is a beacon as she leaps.

i see her struggle in her sweatshirt and jeans in the water,

splashing as she swims briefly before her feet touch bottom

and she slogs her way out of the water.

i notice that not once did she look scared.

her eyes always focused, unwavering, on where she needed to get to.

i see her dripping wet as she sits down briefly on the shore

to empty the water out of her shoes

before she trudges off towards home,

leaving a trail of water behind her as she goes up the hill,

disappearing without looking back.

i remember her. 

i miss her

a tree with vast high branches is next to me as i walk

this morning.

i stop and look up longingly,

a rush of vertigo makes me sway slightly 

before i catch myself.

in a flash, i am ten years old again.

fingers stinging from the rough bark

as i clamber up the tree again and again

ever higher.

i close my eyes and i can see her.

she approaches the low branch that she can reach

with a small jump from the ground.

her arms pull her up as her legs find grip on the trunk

 to give her a nudge up and over the branch.

i see her swing one leg over easily, 

straddling the branch, she stands carefully,

balanced now on top of it.

i see her climb higher, 

the branches easier to navigate now.

i see her pass the last two branches that

she has jumped from before this climb as she looks upward,

searching for a higher mount to drop from.

her knee is bleeding from scraping it against the trunk

but she doesn’t notice.

her hair has twigs and leaves tangled in it

but she doesn’t notice.

i see her face light up as she grips the highest branch of the tree.

her feet are balanced on the one just below it,

her hands barely reaching the one she is determined to make her drop from.

she releases one hand for a second to wipe the dirt from her eyes.

both hands on the branch now, its girth too big for her little hands to fully encircle.

if she notices, she doesn’t care.

i see her give a tiny jump so she can get a better grip.

her feet dangle now as she looks down for the first time

since she started her climb.

i look closely at her, 

fear is not even a glimmer in her eyes, 

hesitation is not a word that is in her vocabulary

as she starts to swing herself lightly,

working to be able to get clearance from the lower branches.

i see her grimace a little as her hands rub hard against the branch.

i see the grimace gone in a flash and a grin replaces it, 

her eyes bright, she glances up at the sun for a second. 

she kicks her legs out hard one final time and her hands release.

she flies through the air,

her hair, full of leaves and twigs cascading behind her,

arms held over her head still, wind rushing past her.

her eyes are focused, her gaze unwavering,

at a spot on the ground where she knows she has to stick the landing.

i see her slam to the ground,

her knees bend as she lands,

hands out to catch herself if she needed to,

if she stumbled.

but she didn’t.

she never did, 

she always landed firm and steady.

with never a thought in her mind that she wouldn’t.

i remember her.

i miss her.